Just a thought while in studio

More than anything else, surviving as an artist has to do with learning to deal with rejection.

Spring Break

A little tiny post; to find myself before I begin working. 

I said ‘I’m Back’ then didn’t post for a little while. Well. . 

I got back with my girlfriend. 

Spring break has been lots of fun. I’ve pulled four all nighters. Periodically I’ll sleep for twelve hours, then do it again. It works! Wild. 

I’ve got to paint over some stuff. Patching over areas of the painting to reorganize the value schemes has been important. In exchange for a little bit of freshness, you get a successful painting; often worth it, but very hard. Painting is a touch of inspiration and a ton of perspiration, so the adage goes. 

On my list of things to do are sculpt machetes for a few composition ideas. I think I’m getting closer to working from machetes, ever closer. Next weekend I’ll do a workshop with Kyle Staver, a brilliant painter, to sculpt machetes for painting. I hope to do a few trial runs on my own before the workshop, so I can come with practical questions. 

I wanna do paintings of falling dogs, from painters such as Abraham Hondius and Paul de Vos. I’m doing a painting of Rockwell’s Freedom of Speech. I want to do it well, then move on to making interpretive versions like how Ron English did Guernica, or Picasso did the absinth drinker; mostly Ron English though. 

Upon graduation, I plan to send photos of my ASE (graduation show) wall to Sean Landers, Jim Shaw, Peter Saul, that ilk. See if I can’t meet up with them. I just messaged Sean Landers showing him a picture of the (kind of direct) bite I’m working on in my studio. He’s yet to reply. I still like him and his work. That should do it. 

Oh yeah, I’m doing an artist talk when I get back to school on Tuesday, so I’m thinking a lot about that. I have a stop motion video due on Monday. I am in a show that opens on the 25th. And I’m trying to do an installation in the ‘Broad Street Studio’ on the 28th. I want to do a still life setup in the 9th floor still life room too. Little gauntlet ahead; and I’m in a tiny pocket called ‘Spring Break’ looking at it. It’s 10pm, and I’m about to get to work. I slept till 2pm today. So, I’m back. I haven’t had this schedule in about 5 years, but it’s a good one for making work. That said, depression is a distinct possibility, and it’s especially good because I know I’ll be back as a day walker soon enough. Truly, Kemeys. 

Self-Agrandisement

Another day another blog post. I feel pretty good. I slept at school last night and got a phone call waking me up at 6am from someone I suspect from the number works at the school; especially the head of security. Well, I’ll say it again here; paranoia will destroy-ya. I called them back and no answer. More important things are at hand. 

I ran my mouth at the draw-a-thon a bit (I was a mess- or was I in a zen ‘being’ state?) and mentioned I’d do a still life setup for the 9th floor advanced still life class. Scott Noel who teaches it was thrilled, and I was thrilled to make him thrilled. Though I’ve distanced myself from his influence, I do want to do well by and for him. Likewise I was spitballing with Doug Martenson and we bond talking over the manipulative games of curators. So we got to a logical platitude that I should do a show in the Fishbowl gallery in the front of the museum; something like my open call still life idea. The fishbowl is the bottom corner of our contemporary museum. It’s got four glass walls and is trapezoidal with an open ceiling. Architecture influences art; this is no place to hang paintings. Those neo-postmodernists who subvert painting (mannerists?) get shows shows shows. They monopolize the show itineraries, and appropriately name their shows things like “Crosscurrents” (rip tide), and “Make Me a Summary of Us” (we’re in charge now). So I might do a show; an open call for the disenfranchised, and cram it into a space designed for something else, designed for architects and financiers that just want to seem hip, let’s be honest. 

I’m still thinking of the scholarship. I had a tiny funk probably from tiny sleeps, where I thought I was ‘losing it’, like my spirit, but it was not so, just a time of subconscious living. Goethe says we spend most of our time in the subconscious. It feels good to hear someone say it; better yet, Johan Wolfgang. 

I compiled documents for a show last night, a hoop to jump through I thought, but in the end I found it helpful to organize my thoughts. 

Speaking of which, I will give a thesis seminar artist talk on Tuesday after spring break. I live for the artist talk, I’m very excited. I have made many notes. Which directions should I take it? I’m weighing out oversharing, fabricating, biography, topic-centric (the devil in the studio), therapeutic, strong man, life advice, failures, theory speculation, jokes, rules and habits, confessions, weak man, and Christ. 

I’m sculpting a little more than I’m painting, but I’m still a painter. 

Back

Seeing that my last post was such a hit (more than a handful of views), and in conjunction o otherwise falling off, I took a little break from writing. Here’s to trying to get back to it, as I believe it is good for my mental health. 

My eye has been twitching for a week now. I began to sleep more and drink water, and eat potassium and not drink coffee, but it’s to no avail, so now I’m back to doing all the bad things, in exchange hopefully for some product. My practice has been product oriented such that I have not carried a sketchbook for a couple of weeks. I am expressing myself solely into studio works, putting things into practice without rehearsal. As a result, my paintings have been much fresher; I mean, the drawings in the paintings have never been so lucid. I did begin that large painting; about eight feet by five, where i load up a blank canvas with cartoons. It’s going pretty well and ‘liberating’ as one of my critics put it today in a crit. 

Yesterday’s crit with Jan Baltzell went alright. She mentioned that some (I think all) of the paintings were bad, and not good. She encouraged me to keep on with the split studio, one third in drawing, and the other thirds split between painting and sculpture. She also encouraged me to use variation in my marks, my stoke language, which I was happy to hear, as I am reading a little about the brushstrokes of the Japanese ink painters. Not just marks, but overall how the paint is put on. 

Today’s crit with Clint Jukkala also went well. (God, I’m tired). Jukkala asked if maybe I could be applying some things differently. How application becomes symbiotic with the communicative. He mentioned I might be being held back in my painting; and that it’s not uncommon that painters get hung up and slowed to a crawl. For this reason, he speculated maybe sculptors have greater access to good painting, being not mired in its trappings. Clint also gave me a handful of good artists to look at. 

I got into this show, and tonight I have to draw a plan for my installation, and submit the specifics. I’ve also been asked to do a zine for the show. I like both of these propositions, and with my crits under my belt let’s see if I can’t work smarter in order to wrench this thing into shape. Oh god. 

I’ve been a prolific little sculptor. Lots of little sculptures.  

My paintings are not good. They’re not special. I think on one hand my ideas that ‘I’ve put in the work’ have everything to do with the trappings. The idea that my work has ‘become’ good is a mistaken one. Obviously I must pay attention to my inventions, to hear them, and to see them through to what they want to be, on their terms. My paintings are weak I think because I assume they will do the trick, but they need much more attention than that. 

Sleeping in my studio

Things have gone pretty well today. I just have to remember to turn my sock inside out tomorrow when I put them on. Nah, fuck it, I’ll do that now. .. done. One less thing. All I want to report today is I has pretty good success in sketchup. 

I’ve got a crit tomorrow so I’m going to annotate some things I’d like to ask Sarah Peters.. 

Here’s how I had it set up for open studio night. Based on what you’ve seen of my work before, what do you think in terms of this showcase? I feel like I might not have captured many facets by curating like this. I’m such a sporadic artist. Rob Roesch notes that he’s surprised that I meditate. He said ‘I thought you were the one to thrive in the chaos’. I guess I am, but I can get angry without the meditation bookending my days. What’s being a sporadic chaotic artist mean for me in terms of shows? Or career or whatever? What’s the prognosis? 

How could I ro-sham-bo this kind of work into a show?

I’m thinking of wrapping up this semester with ‘my style’ in addition to challenging myself and doing well in coursework. Thoughts?

What might be a good model for me in terms of sales in relation to producing a large volume? Should I go cheap, or sit on drawings? What’s your model? What about your taxes? 

Do you teach? Might grad school be a good idea coming up? Would some or all of these things look good with a frame? How should I present some of these sculptures? In the ASE? On one of these bootleg shelves? 

Read my artist statement and bio? How are they? Look at my website? Look at my video works? 3D models? How did you get into the New York scene? How would I? 

These unfinished ‘finished’ looking paintings- what do you think? Unfinished? What about Paul Theck? 

Tomorrow I would like to claim a size wall for the ASE, and declare what size paintings I anticipate showing. I have to mock up the show in a way. I also could use tomorrow to ship some sold work and write an itinerary for a travel scholarship application. I could also read and watch tutorials for a video class. After class, I could screen print my ordered my larger size shirts. My glass sculptures will come out of the kiln tomorrow. I have to email some people. I broke the 3D printer. I have to formulate a plan for a show submission about scale. I could distribute flyers for submissions for the draw-a-thon forthcoming this weekend. I could batch an advertisement for the Kemmy does PAFA shirt. The event could be a perfect corral for selling the shirt- Maybe I should screen print even more, or a new design. ‘PAFA does Kemmy

‘ 

I could sculpt the mockette for the procession piece and mock it up in the evening. Or afternoon. 

I’d like to build the strainer for the nude model piece in the wood shop. And ask Sarah about doing a big nude. painting. 

Open studio night

Open studios night was on Friday night; last night. I cleaned out my studio, then hung what I thought would work well in relation to other student’s studios. I hung a couple ‘hits’, some newly arrived at works, and a couple dozen sketches; mostly recent. I had my screen printed shirts for sale draped over the back of a type of bentwood chair, and I wore a suit that my dad bought me for Christmas. The night went off well. I played defense mostly, and tried foremost to make people who entered my studio feel welcome. Visitors brought energy, and I got a nice high throughout the night. Some good advice was given. I feel like I have a lot of work to do. 

I have been modeling up some stuff fro 3D printing, and printed four of one design of kind of humps on a plinth; something simple. The idea is a procession of rocklike forms, to be used as a mockette. Thing is, once printed, I’m thinking of painting the objects themselves. I would like to design a project and outsource the painting. I’ve long wanted to outsource. It’s clear that many arts are taken for granted (as they are irrelevant craft) and relegated to hobby. I’m thinking of adult coloring books, and warhammer figurine painting mostly, but now I’m thinking of background painting for traditional animation etc. (largely extinct, but I think of the Korean animation houses from time to time). Point being, if I could get an audience; people that buy everything I make, I could have a good foothold on a large an proficient labor pool, and be a good boss. I would like to be a good boss. For the 3D printing stuff. I’m thinking having the printers running all the time, and mixing the colors for a dark-to-light painting scheme, premixed a la old school Disney cel painters, and again, outsourced. That suit must have had an effect on me. 

Something else I’m thinking of a lot now is style. Something that Alex Katz said in one of him interviews is that style is all that matters. It’s true. Also, I need to love myself, because when someone likes my style, I shouldn’t pretend I’m on my way to somewhere else. I am where I am, and it comes with its influences. 

I ought to do some painting, Brave painting; willing to knock some things out entirely. The work is not worth much. 

landscape class

 Things went better than my mind would allow myself to believe today. I made studies of light out in landscape class. Martenson eluded to a scholarship (or was I projecting?) Martenson also spoke kindly of me, to me, saying I had humility. I’ve been into Alex Katz recently after a friend of mine asked me to name the greatest living painter. I think Katz is that. I was thinking of Alex Katz in Landscape class today. I watched a couple interviews with him. I made a run of screen printed shirts- cyan ink on green tees. The design is of a cartoon of me carrying a stretcher bar canvas support, with text that reads ‘Kemmy does PAFA, c. 2019 A.D.’. I bring up Katz and humility and this shirt because the content potentially incongruent with humility, but Katz argues (not expending much energy, he is efficient) that style is more important than content, and I agree. Some that have seen the shirt say ‘that’s very you’, and I’ve heard before some commentary ‘most Kemeys thing ever’, and often I’ll draw something true to my aesthetic, not for some class or whatever, and so I do think I have a style. Today I junked a graffiti piece I thought was cool. I don’t think my Graffiti got very far into ‘my style’, but at the same time, I think Graffiti is kind of wasteful the way I was doing it often times. When I matured graffiti wise, it was characterized by much smaller and more intimate tags and pieces, not blockbusters etc. 

So I like this Kemmy shirt. I thought $15, but now I’m thinking $12. I probably printed 20. 

Things I am supposed to do: make 3D models to print for 3D print class 

Watch 1-31 demos for premier pro 

Read reading for Moving Images class

Read syllabus for moving images class, to stay on track. 

Bring gouache kit to school. Or watercolor kit. For landscape class. 

Work out a few thumbs from memory of landscapes from Wednesday’s class 

Make flyers, business cards, and advertisements for shirts in photoshop 

Distribute flyers like mad 

Print the larger sizes tonight 

Plan out panoramic under the bench composition of procession of rocks, draw, sculpt, light, paint (long kite)

Build 8 by 58 stretcher. For Lexi. Do small studies for it. Cutout like Katz 

Clean studio 

Bring and scan Henry and hang and gift for open studio. 

Build several small figure armatures 

Get an apple for Friday morning class 

Prepare a sculpture for Friday morning class. 

Bring in Bridgeman