Seeing that my last post was such a hit (more than a handful of views), and in conjunction o otherwise falling off, I took a little break from writing. Here’s to trying to get back to it, as I believe it is good for my mental health.
My eye has been twitching for a week now. I began to sleep more and drink water, and eat potassium and not drink coffee, but it’s to no avail, so now I’m back to doing all the bad things, in exchange hopefully for some product. My practice has been product oriented such that I have not carried a sketchbook for a couple of weeks. I am expressing myself solely into studio works, putting things into practice without rehearsal. As a result, my paintings have been much fresher; I mean, the drawings in the paintings have never been so lucid. I did begin that large painting; about eight feet by five, where i load up a blank canvas with cartoons. It’s going pretty well and ‘liberating’ as one of my critics put it today in a crit.
Yesterday’s crit with Jan Baltzell went alright. She mentioned that some (I think all) of the paintings were bad, and not good. She encouraged me to keep on with the split studio, one third in drawing, and the other thirds split between painting and sculpture. She also encouraged me to use variation in my marks, my stoke language, which I was happy to hear, as I am reading a little about the brushstrokes of the Japanese ink painters. Not just marks, but overall how the paint is put on.
Today’s crit with Clint Jukkala also went well. (God, I’m tired). Jukkala asked if maybe I could be applying some things differently. How application becomes symbiotic with the communicative. He mentioned I might be being held back in my painting; and that it’s not uncommon that painters get hung up and slowed to a crawl. For this reason, he speculated maybe sculptors have greater access to good painting, being not mired in its trappings. Clint also gave me a handful of good artists to look at.
I got into this show, and tonight I have to draw a plan for my installation, and submit the specifics. I’ve also been asked to do a zine for the show. I like both of these propositions, and with my crits under my belt let’s see if I can’t work smarter in order to wrench this thing into shape. Oh god.
I’ve been a prolific little sculptor. Lots of little sculptures.
My paintings are not good. They’re not special. I think on one hand my ideas that ‘I’ve put in the work’ have everything to do with the trappings. The idea that my work has ‘become’ good is a mistaken one. Obviously I must pay attention to my inventions, to hear them, and to see them through to what they want to be, on their terms. My paintings are weak I think because I assume they will do the trick, but they need much more attention than that.
