I finished my England journal’s first draft. This was complicated because I’d forgotten the central part of my trip. I went to Bath twice, and Oxford twice, and in two weeks time I’d gone in and out out those towns and to Wales and had several misfires on adventures I’d poorly planned, so the central part was confusing. Perhaps, this then was the truest part of my trip, where I was lost in it, and I drew pictures but didn’t write anything down.
I carried a guilt that I was traveling like an idiot. I wish I could quell this insecurity because it riddles me when I’m on a trip with a return date, maybe that was the problem, it felt like a sentence. Regardless, the dividends are coming in, even though I’d read books prior, they did very little to inform what I saw and thus the vague wash proved to be the substance of the trip. Indeed England is in a peculiar type of stasis- a purgatorium of sorts- like their paintings convey. More questions than answers, but my painting has changed, and my tastes broadened.
From Florida, I came back to Philly, and the COVID 19 lockdowns became the theme. I hunkered like the best of them, and cut ties with my antiques store job, which I saw as grossly exploitative (old rich as it may seem, it’s yet another parallel language of idle fart sniffers, though historically somewhat interesting sometimes.)
I applied to lots of mural open calls; got into the final round of one, which I’m now designing for. The studio time is split between mural design, a large dining room painting commission, three landscape paintings for a show in an office building, and a slammed sketchbook for a show in February of 2021.
I got a new job, which is the impetus for this blog entry. I’m working as a security guard for a regional Walmart. I enjoy the job. It is a lot like lifeguarding, which I did from age 17-22. Not too hard on the body, $14 and hour, and mostly de-escalation, which so far I seem built for. I love to stand and watch, and help out when I can (it seems Walmart is a pretty informal workplace, where the Walmart employees are okay with an outside contractor, me, to help customers with top shelf item- grabbing a ladder, and back-of-the-warehouse product location, etc.). The radio chatter at Walmart is overwhelmingly friendly, and there is a good rapport among the workers and managers. I love the vantage point of a security guard at a Walmart in relation to being an artist.
Yesterday a shoplifter pulled a knife on a colleague. I hope I do not get stabbed. Often the Walmart employees are bad at de-escalating, and they rile up the customers who are like little ticking bombs. I think I’m a good fit for approaching these situations and listening and resolving issues. This job is more nuanced than those jobs that wouldn’t have me; a administrator, a tour guide, a sales manager. A job that would have me is one in luck. I am a good worker. I sure hope I don’t get stabbed.
