Plan has gone not terribly, but not operating at a ten. A friend of mine quotes some study (he read it in a book about quitting smoking) that stating intention offsets motivation to preform the task. That’s not written too clearly, but I guess some relief occurs, or sense of accomplishment by stating, you get the idea.
I’m very sore now. I’ve been sore for a week, escalating due to my engagements. Habitat for humanity had me erecting interior frames, which was harder work than I was used to I guess. Since, I’ve been waking later, missing the most recent Habitat shift entirely. The work on the wall has been equal in hours per session, but it seems the nature of the work has changed, as I am fatigued. I like the feeling somewhat. It helps to justify the downtime as healing time. After I overslept for my Habitat shift, I geared up for a motorcycle trip down to Sarasota, to close loose ends. These included picking up my big sketch on canvas of a model. I called Ringling campus police that let me into Bayou103, where I ripped it off its eight by five foot support, folded it up, and got off campus for the last time in likely a long time. Another thing I went down for was to see Angie before she headed off to New York for a few weeks before her next semester starts up again at Ringling. Turns out, her boyfriend (whom I like), also had plans of spending (as much as possible) time with her before she left. Angie and I got some conversation in anyhow.
I’ve kept to meditating, but after the Sarasota trip, I feel that the drive is gone. The motorcycle trip down there I left my arms bare to the sun, and got a good red bake on my forearms. I didn’t eat much while in Sarasota. On the trip back there were scattered thunderstorms, for which I took breaks, and made rain predictions and risky stretches on wet roads. I took a three hour break half way through. I controlled my breathing and kept an eagle eye. In total the trip back took eight hours. When I got home, the parents were gone somewhere, and the house was staged, and lit, and outside there was a heavy fog and cold light. I rolled a joint.
That motorcycle trip had me questioning the existence of a higher power afterward, and again, my meditation habit has been in question of late (not that it would reason to be). Then I saw some video with Elon Musk suggesting our likelihood of being actually in a simulation, and also the existence of a higher power as one of two-hundred billion versions of ourselves that is in control of the simulation. I entertained that the motorcycle trip was carried out by the god version of myself; the in-control-one-in-two-hundred-billion self. I had a one in two hundred billion experience.
Yesterday I painted on the wall. The business owner came to our house directly and asked me to change the design of the wall. This was after three design meetings, with approvals all along the way. Now, I’m kind of free-painting on the wall, painting blind. Today, I went to the wall and felt too pooped to start. I’m taking the weekend, and we’ll see what comes. I need to think about the painting in a wholistic sense as it comes to a close. I’m getting closed to finishing, maybe.
Yesterday I painted on the wall. The business owner came to our house directly and asked me to change the design of the wall. This was after three design meetings, with approvals all along the way. Now, I’m kind of free-painting on the wall, painting blind. Today, I went to the wall and felt too pooped to start. I’m taking the weekend, and we’ll see what comes. I need to think about the painting in a wholistic sense as it comes to a close. I’m getting closed to finishing, maybe.
I’ve got a couple offers on the table for other mural projects. I won’t go into details, but it would be special circumstances indeed to take on more mural projects at the moment.
I'd dropped off four glass sculptures with Debbie at the local glass studio before setting down to Sarasota, and she fired two in my absence. They did not turn out. Whereas my experience in school and my understanding from reading stated a fourty-hour kiln cycle, Debbie tried to get away with a four hour cycle, keeping the glass at 1500degrees for ten minutes, rather than two hours, with relative abbreviations throughout. Luckily, she chose a good couple to experiment on, and I'll be shopping around for a kiln-relationship in Philadelphia tentatively. I bought some plaster-silica mix from her, and said goodbye for now. The idea now is to make a bunch of molds, and weigh out my glass, to take to Philly to try to get a glass caster's kiln to use.
Also before Sarasota, I went diving in Three Sister's Springs, for reference videos to assist with the design of a mural for City Hall's Visitor's Center. The dive was like the motorcycle trip- cold, wet, eerie, with an acute earthy deathy quality. The springs were nice and scenic, however without sun on that day, the swim out to it in the river with tannic black water, was unsettling, and again, the cold.
That's it. Looking at the calendar, it's more about wrapping up here in Crystal River than spreading out. Let's see if I keep my cool. Who am I talking to?- this could be a simulation. . .
