I left this big one for later, this blog post. It might be fun, let's see if I can get a swing going. I cut my left index finger with a knife today, so that's a lot of what I'm focusing on at the moment. Really stupid cut. I was cutting through a sausage link with my finger on the other side. It was a reckless mistake. Anyway, so let's get on with it:
From Panama City I left on a Greyhound bus for Tallahassee. Panama City was becoming claustrophobic and I felt that there was no reason I should be there. More so, I wanted to get to Philadelphia for this PAFA spring semester show where the school guts the contemporary museum to hang student works, all of which are for sale. Apparently $300,000 of work was sold on opening night, so I felt inclined to see this thing. What's more, it was a great way to step outside of pomp which might have come from spending my birthday with my collected family. I asked for no gifts, etc. I thought about how I thought about how Jahovahs Witnesses think about birthdays- not as a cause for celebration, but as an opened ape rather for an earth experience. I thought to put some weight on it. So I bought a plane ticket and a bus ticket and was off. I missed the morning bus out of Panama City, and returned three hours early for the afternoon bus to make sure I wouldn't repeat the mistake. My mom drove me there in her Tesela car. I find it funny and embarrassing pulling up to a greyhound station in a 100K+ car with falcon wing doors. I try to swallow my pride when those doors go up and just think, 'that's what those do and isn't that unique'. In the bus station, a quiet group was activated by this one really loud-mouth girl from Miami. I left while she took a speaker-phone video call with her infant relatives. I went outside to read a little bit of a book. I don't know which. I read Lessing's Lacoön, Nathan, and some play with a woman's name, Minna Von Barheim? I was on to something else, can't recall (edit: Doctorow's, Walkaway) I went back in and the phone conversation had ceased. She'd moved on to engaging the room, and that wasn't the worst. It became kind of nice- entertaining at least. There was a big black prison guard who was there to make shire this newly freed inmate got onto the bus (inmate looked like he was ready to slit some throats tbh), the hypocritical conservative know-it-all, and this funny Caribbean black guy who seemed super shy but was adamant about saying, 'you don't know, I can get crazy', with his baby face. He was this anomaly. He'd taken a trip from Orlando to Panama City for the three-day (Memorial Day) weekend, and inquiring about the cab ride to the beach it was stated that it would cost him 30$, to which he asked whether it was worth it or not, and the cab driver said 'not really', and our friend took him at face value and said, "well, take me to the greyhound station, I'm going back home". When this story came out of him, the room was think with social what-the-fucks. There was this other younger gentleman too, who'd been invited by his girlfriends family to come stay wt their beach condo. The girlfriend ended up hooking up with some other guy, and I guess our friend here at the greyhound station decided to cut his losses and leave. Not too much more to go into. The old conservative man would not stop talking and gave me a terrible impression of what old age could be like. The Miami loud-mouth asked everyone's zodiac signs, to which she said I need to have my own chart altogether, and I felt she was right about that.
Tallahassee-wise, I hadn't orchestrated much, but put a post on Facebook that I was coming through, to no avail. I went straight to Allsaints Cafe and got a coffee. I'd already reduced my diet a couple days prior, in Panama City, as I'd been overeating. I got a coffee and a bagel after some time, and took a walk. I was considering which hotel I would end up staying in, and that alone feeling rolled in like I was on the road. A friend named Heather and I met eyes at some point, in this parking lot of a bar, and there was a little hip-jig thing that went on, as we're both flakes I think, and maybe both open but don't want to be hurt, or something, maybe both utterly cordial, and wanting to be respectful of each other's time. I don't know. I was happy to see Heather. She was someone whom I met at a very critical and raw time in my life, whereupon I'd just made the switch from 'Robbie', to Kemeys, and I also fell-in with this really loving and supportive group, complete with cuddle piles and talk about your feelings sessions. She'd just moved back, and also in the group was a pretty boy guy who I had a deep bond with, and this woman who I thought was god, and other comers and goers whom I thought the world of. I wanted to talk to Heather more, was a big takeaway from those times.
Here, in Tallahassee, she was going to get a drink or two at the bar, and asked if I wanted to join, and I didn't pass it up. We both got two. After a bit she asked where I was staying. I said some motel, I hadn't decided, and she offered her bed. She contacted her roommate who said it was cool, and we both took off from there to go 'check in' so to speak. I got acquainted, met the roommate, and he and I agreed that the door would be unlocked at around midnight, when I was planned to come in for the night. From there Heather was headed to her partner's house, and she gave me a ride to a house show I'd heard of from the barista at the coffee place. I saw a touring band from Chicago, and met a few graffiti nerds that I'd not become acquainted with. They seemed nice enough, and a little absorbed with being cool, even though I tried to roll out the red carpet out for them a little bit. A friend of mine who'd played the show gave me a ride therefrom to a friend's house, where I met up with Cosby- a good old art friend. He's younger, but I look up to him in more way than just his stature. I've mentioned him before- he's a great guy. We drank as per usual at his cousin's house and Cosby mentioned driving me to Jacksonville the next day, and also alluded to going to paint some graffiti at the skatepark- like old times. So, I agreed naturally. I 'finished' my piece really quick because this cinderella was due to Tuten into a pumpkin, and I had to get back to my hosts house, so I spilt and Cosby ended up going over a third of my piece with his last letter- just like old times. I had a good rest at heather's house. I called Cosby in the morning, and he was really looking forward to driving me to Jacksonville. I cancelled my car reservation and hung out at Allsaints to wait for Cosby to come scoop me up. I bought him lunch and gas, and we were on our way.
Tallahassee-wise, I hadn't orchestrated much, but put a post on Facebook that I was coming through, to no avail. I went straight to Allsaints Cafe and got a coffee. I'd already reduced my diet a couple days prior, in Panama City, as I'd been overeating. I got a coffee and a bagel after some time, and took a walk. I was considering which hotel I would end up staying in, and that alone feeling rolled in like I was on the road. A friend named Heather and I met eyes at some point, in this parking lot of a bar, and there was a little hip-jig thing that went on, as we're both flakes I think, and maybe both open but don't want to be hurt, or something, maybe both utterly cordial, and wanting to be respectful of each other's time. I don't know. I was happy to see Heather. She was someone whom I met at a very critical and raw time in my life, whereupon I'd just made the switch from 'Robbie', to Kemeys, and I also fell-in with this really loving and supportive group, complete with cuddle piles and talk about your feelings sessions. She'd just moved back, and also in the group was a pretty boy guy who I had a deep bond with, and this woman who I thought was god, and other comers and goers whom I thought the world of. I wanted to talk to Heather more, was a big takeaway from those times.
Here, in Tallahassee, she was going to get a drink or two at the bar, and asked if I wanted to join, and I didn't pass it up. We both got two. After a bit she asked where I was staying. I said some motel, I hadn't decided, and she offered her bed. She contacted her roommate who said it was cool, and we both took off from there to go 'check in' so to speak. I got acquainted, met the roommate, and he and I agreed that the door would be unlocked at around midnight, when I was planned to come in for the night. From there Heather was headed to her partner's house, and she gave me a ride to a house show I'd heard of from the barista at the coffee place. I saw a touring band from Chicago, and met a few graffiti nerds that I'd not become acquainted with. They seemed nice enough, and a little absorbed with being cool, even though I tried to roll out the red carpet out for them a little bit. A friend of mine who'd played the show gave me a ride therefrom to a friend's house, where I met up with Cosby- a good old art friend. He's younger, but I look up to him in more way than just his stature. I've mentioned him before- he's a great guy. We drank as per usual at his cousin's house and Cosby mentioned driving me to Jacksonville the next day, and also alluded to going to paint some graffiti at the skatepark- like old times. So, I agreed naturally. I 'finished' my piece really quick because this cinderella was due to Tuten into a pumpkin, and I had to get back to my hosts house, so I spilt and Cosby ended up going over a third of my piece with his last letter- just like old times. I had a good rest at heather's house. I called Cosby in the morning, and he was really looking forward to driving me to Jacksonville. I cancelled my car reservation and hung out at Allsaints to wait for Cosby to come scoop me up. I bought him lunch and gas, and we were on our way.
The trip to Jacksonville was filled with interesting conversation between Cosby and I. Turns out, he's a Taurus, which made a lot of sense when I found that out. I'd been getting along with Tauruses swimmingly of late. I felt like our friendship grew at that moment.Arriving in Jacksonville, I phoned Shaun- another art-friend, whom I'd helped install large murals with. Cosby and I met him at a cafe. Cosby had recently become a bonafide professional artist, specializing in murals, so he and Shaun had a lot to talk about. I was very happy to sit back and let them have this time. Cosby's so low key, or something, that somehow I get opportunities that seem custom-designed for him. Then again, same can be said about some of the opportunities that come his way. He's often on projects that I thought I would've been involved with years ago, but have yet to come in fact. Cosby is strong in following through and applying himself- he's grounded. Cosby splits and goes back to Tallahassee, Shaun and I kick it. He finishes up some paperwork for a mural, and says I came at a perfect time, and that he wants to go get drunk. He says this in a silly way, and we both understanding what our drinking together looks like. I want to do something with the night, so we decide on a long walk to the bar, which was great through the neighborhoods of Jacksonville's Riverside, 30's bungalows abound, sun setting, talking philosophy a bit, getting thirsty. I suggested this ninny-bar, and it was a nice spot- up on a roof, ten dollar cocktails.
I got something called Rosy Slipper or something, and he got like a Rusty Boot or something. We drank those, got tipsy, and moved on, drank more liquor, then beer, then more beer, then wine I think, and then more beer. It was a great night. All in all Shaun and I had each other, which gave us a sense of freedom to talk around to and with others. We got an Uber ride back to his place, and I guess we were taking really deep, and he made note that the journey to consciousness may well be the process of convincing oneself that the space in between one and another is real. Something like that, and I took it in and felt the sensation of leaving my body, and I came-to when my autonomic leg kicked back to catch me from falling backwards. 'I'm drunk', I thought but did not say. The concept was clear. Bedtime right after that. I woke in the morning feeling well. Hell. I ordered an Uber and went to the JAX airport, where I boarded a flight to Philadelphia. That's surely enough for one post, for one night. We can both agree that this is for the benefit of my mental health first and foremost. why I need this is another thing altogether. Sometimes I read them. Sometimes other people read them. I hope the writing brings you joy as it does me. I'll pick up where I left off, hopefully writing a little more concisely. Peace.
I got something called Rosy Slipper or something, and he got like a Rusty Boot or something. We drank those, got tipsy, and moved on, drank more liquor, then beer, then more beer, then wine I think, and then more beer. It was a great night. All in all Shaun and I had each other, which gave us a sense of freedom to talk around to and with others. We got an Uber ride back to his place, and I guess we were taking really deep, and he made note that the journey to consciousness may well be the process of convincing oneself that the space in between one and another is real. Something like that, and I took it in and felt the sensation of leaving my body, and I came-to when my autonomic leg kicked back to catch me from falling backwards. 'I'm drunk', I thought but did not say. The concept was clear. Bedtime right after that. I woke in the morning feeling well. Hell. I ordered an Uber and went to the JAX airport, where I boarded a flight to Philadelphia. That's surely enough for one post, for one night. We can both agree that this is for the benefit of my mental health first and foremost. why I need this is another thing altogether. Sometimes I read them. Sometimes other people read them. I hope the writing brings you joy as it does me. I'll pick up where I left off, hopefully writing a little more concisely. Peace.
